


Be Good

by Alice_h



Series: A Place of Our Own [5]
Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Date Rape Drug/Roofies, Dealing With Trauma, Drugs, F/F, Heavy Angst, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Supportive partner, Trauma, but their relationship is solid and they still love each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2019-11-20
Packaged: 2021-01-27 03:55:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21385675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alice_h/pseuds/Alice_h
Summary: Coming home from work one night, Catra runs into her old gang. Though friendly at first, things soon take an ugly turn.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Catra & Lonnie (She-Ra)
Series: A Place of Our Own [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1511849
Comments: 37
Kudos: 199





	1. Old Friends

**Author's Note:**

> So this has been in the works for a while and it's been one of the most difficult but rewarding things to write. I've drawn from personal experience, so it's been a very cathartic process, and hopefully that means I've done the storyline justice. It's gone through several changes, and it's a story I only wanted to tell when I knew it was right. It might be hard to read for some, but thank you to those that do.
> 
> If these topics don't bother you and you don't want some vague spoilers, skip the rest of the notes. If you want some in-depth content warnings for this and future chapters, they are here:
> 
> Rape/Sexual assault - A character is drugged without their knowledge for the attacker to attempt to sexually assault them. This incident is referenced heavily throughout future chapters. There is also a second incident which mirrors the first.
> 
> Drugs - A character is given non-specific drugs that reduce their awareness and control of their body. There is a scene which features drug-taking later on.

Friday night late shifts were probably Catra’s least favourite – not least because she had to head back home on buses full of twenty-somethings who had already gotten themselves drunk before going into town. They made far too much noise when Catra just wanted to be left alone to listen to her music in peace. Then there was the walk at the other end. Though it was fairly short, it meant she had to go past the popular bar at the end of her road, inevitably having to dodge revellers stumbling out onto the pavement.

Clinging to the small shard of hope that she’d be able to get home in silence, Catra stepped off the bus and pulled her hood up over her headphones. Hopefully, people would get the message and avoid talking to her if she-

“Oh for fuck’s…” a hand tapped her on the shoulder. Reluctantly, she put her hood down and slipped her headphones off, before looking around at whatever drunken idiot was trying to annoy her.

“It _is _you!” A short girl with dreadlocks smiled at Catra. Stood behind her was a skinny guy with a mop of dirty blond hair and a much larger guy who looked menacing no matter what his expression was. All three were very familiar to her.

“Lonnie?” Catra squinted, not believing her eyes. It had been over a year since they had last seen each other, that time being a chance meeting in the town centre while she was out with Adora.

“See, Rogelio? I told you it was her,” she looked behind her at the tall, well-built man who grunted stoically.

Catra started feeling a little nervous at seeing her old gang - especially so close to where she lived - but tried to hide her fear, knowing they would pick up on it, “What the hell are you doing here?”

“We were just out for the evening. But hey, now we saw you, wanna have a drink with us?”

The brunette frowned, memories of their time together rapidly appearing in her mind, “Look, you know things didn’t go so well the last time I was with you all. I don’t think it’s a clever idea...”

“Come on, Catra, it would be good. I haven’t seen you in ages, and we just want to catch up, that’s all. I’ll be honest, the Horde’s not the same without you.”

There was a pregnant pause, with Lonnie giving her those pleading eyes that she found hard to resist. Part of her _did _want to spend time with them again – after all, they got on so well before things turned ugly.

“Alright, just one…” Catra sighed, knowing it was against her better judgement – and at least it wasn’t far to walk home.

“Fine with us!” Lonnie beckoned them over to the bar and opened the door for the others, ushering them inside. The place was filling up with people quite quickly, but they managed to find a corner to sit down in with a table and a couple of couches that were presumably once the establishment’s attempt to attract a more casual crowd. Now, however, they just gave the place a tatty, run-down look.

“I’ll get the drinks,” Catra hurried to the bar, still apprehensive about sitting down with the gang, then looked back towards them to shout, “Hey, Lonnie? The usual? Yeah?”

“Yeah!” she shouted back.

Catra then turned to the barman, “Four vodka lemonades.”

When their drinks had been made, she brought the tray back to the table they were sat at and sank into the worn-out sofa next to it.

“So…” Kyle leant forward to pick up his glass, “What’s been going on with you since you left us?”

Catra narrowed her eyes at him, “I didn’t _leave_, I got stitched up and arrested. I went to prison. Thanks for reminding me that you ruined my life.”

“Hey, it wasn’t our fault you got busted. You know we were the only ones who actually looked out for you. Hordak was the one who screwed you over.”

“Yeah, well, you didn’t look out for me well enough,” she stood up, shaking her head, “I shouldn’t be here with you, I’m sorry. I’m going.”

Lonnie’s hand grabbed her arm and pulled her back, “Hey, we’re sorry we brought that up. At least stay for _one _drink.”

“Fine,” Catra sighed and sat back down. She was still apprehensive about spending time with the trio. It felt as though she was putting herself back into her old life, a life she had worked hard to get away from, and barely managed to do so. Despite her misgivings, however, she found herself enjoying their company. They avoided touchy subjects and instead spent some time talking about all sorts of things – gigs they’d been to recently, TV series they were watching, the country’s political situation. Catra became more at ease, even managing to temporarily forget the history between them all and, dare she say it, start enjoying herself.

After talking for the best part of an hour, Kyle and Rogelio stood up and bid the two girls goodbye. They said they had some business to take care of and Catra, wisely in her opinion, did not wish to delve any deeper into what that might be. Ignorance would be bliss when it came to Horde gang members, that was for sure.

“Hey, before you two go,” Lonnie looked up at Kyle, “Could you get us another drink each? Something _special _for Catra.”

“Ooh, something special.”

Lonnie sidled closer to her, pressing her shoulder against Catra’s, and almost touching the girl’s cheek with her face, “Well, you are some_one _special…”

“I, uh, thanks…” Catra shuffled a few inches to put a more appropriate amount of space between then, “But I’m with Adora now. You know that, right?”

“Of course, of course,” she thanked Kyle as he placed a couple of glasses on the table next to them and then left, “But isn’t she a bit boring for you? You’re like a wild animal and she’s a... a hamster.”

Catra laughed, taking a gulp of her drink, “A hamster? Wow, I will definitely not tell her you said that. But no, I know I’ve done all sorts of stupid crap in my life, Lonnie. I just feel like I need stability, and Adora is really good for me.”

“That sounds more like a therapist than a girlfriend.”

“No, that’s not what I meant. I love Adora intensely – and she loves me too.”

The other girl slid closer and placed her hand on Catra’s leg, “Not like I do. I still want you, Catra.”

“Whoa, Lonnie,” she brushed the hand away, “Not going to happen. Sorry.”

The girl held up her hands to show she was repentant, though her face displayed annoyance, “OK, fine. My mistake, sorry. Just trying to be nice, but I’ll be good, don’t worry.”

Catra took another sip of her drink, trying hard to push the thoughts back down. She loved Adora, of course she did, and things were perfect between them. But Lonnie brought back recollections of her wild years, and there was a small part of her that missed them. Her life was so much better now, but she still had happy memories of the times she and Lonnie would get blitzed and go out on the town. She knew, however, that the girl would get the wrong impression if she admitted anything like that and take it as a signal that she wanted to hook up again, so she stayed quiet.

“You working at all?” Lonnie changed the subject, which came as a relief to her.

“Yeah, yeah,” she ended her sentence there before realising that the other girl was expecting a bit more of an answer, “It’s just a call centre job, tech support for mobile phones. Pretty crappy but it pays the bills.”

“Doesn’t Adora earn enough? Thought you’d be a kept woman living off Miss Boffin’s fancy degree by now.”

“She’s still trying to look for a psychology job. It’s a very…ow,” Catra winced, burying her head in her hands as a shooting pain spread through it, “Sorry, sudden headache.”

“You must be dehydrated, have a drink.”

The brunette squinted up at her, “Doesn’t alcohol just dehydrate you more?”

“I don’t know,” Lonnie smirked, “Ask Adora, she’s the science nerd.”

Catra took a sip, staying silent for a few moments as the pain subsided. The feeling, however, was replaced with light-headedness, making Catra worry she was about to pass out, “Shit, I feel weird, Lonnie. My head’s gone strange.”

“You’re OK. Lie back and close your eyes,” the other girl leaned over her as she reassured Catra, using the distraction as an opportunity to sneakily place her hand back on the girl’s leg.

“I think I’m gonna faint,” Catra’s breathing became erratic, but she did as Lonnie instructed, her head falling back on the cushion behind her. The sounds of the room felt muffled, as though her ears had become stuffed with insulation, and even the dim lighting of the place seemed too bright for her to open her eyes very far. She was vaguely away of Lonnie’s presence close by and tried to keep herself alert by focusing on her voice. A minute or so later, the feeling that she was going to lose consciousness became less urgent, but even with some alertness regained, Catra felt as though she wasn’t entirely there.

“I really don’t feel great, I should go home,” she tried to stand up, but Lonnie’s hand gently pressed against her chest, forcing her back down.

“You need to sit down for a bit before you think about that,” she ordered, “I can make you feel better, remember?”

Catra’s voice slurred, “No, dun… don’t...”

“Catra! Be good!” Lonnie scolded mockingly, “What did you think I meant?”

“Mmmm sorry,” Catra struggled to keep support the weight of her own head, which fell forward.

“I’m not offended. After all, we’re having a lovely night, aren’t we, Catra?” Lonnie lifted the girl’s head up with her finger, “But hey, if you want to take this outside…”

“Mmmhuuurhh,” came the unintelligible response as she was lifted by the other girl and helped through the mass of people, Lonnie laughing loudly about how Catra had had a bit too much to drink. They squeezed through the door and into the cold air outside, leaving the hubbub of the bar behind them. The icy wind made little impact on Catra’s alertness as Lonnie led the barely conscious girl to a small, dimly lit alley down at the side of the building, making sure both of them were out of view of the street.

“Did you enjoy the little extra something I got Kyle to put in your drink?” she drawled, pushing Catra against a wall, “I thought you would enjoy tonight a little better that way. Now, I wonder… does Adora know about us, Catra? Does she know how you used to be _so_ good for me? Huh?”

Catra groaned, her eyes almost closed as she clung on to consciousness, and her body slumped against the wall.

“Did you tell her that you’re mine? Did you, Catra? Does she know she’s got _my_ second-hand DAMAGED GOODS?” she raised her voice and punctuated the last words by hitting the wall next to Catra’s head, the loud sounds making the girl jump, “That’s what you are, Catra. Damaged. But I know how to fix you, I always have done. I stop you from being a mess, and in return, you are my good little Kitty-Cat.”

The brunette tried to push the girl away, but her muscles wouldn’t move. She tried to shout, but even her mouth couldn’t obey the instruction, her silence trapping her against the wall.

“Does Adora know that, Kitty-Cat? The things you would do for me, oh I can’t wait for you to do them again… Did you tell her about the way you used to kiss me?” Lonnie leaned in, forcing her lips against Catra’s and angrily stealing a kiss.

“- or the way you used to touch me?” she grabbed hold of the girl’s arm, wrapping her thighs tightly around it and shivering at the sensation.

“Or maybe you told her about _all_ the other nice things you used to do for me…” with a sly grin across her face, she slipped a finger under the waistband of the girl’s leggings, then tugged hard, exposing her thighs, “C’mon, Catra. It’s time for you to be good...”


	2. Scorpia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scorpia's evening starts off badly when she gets stood up - but that's not what's bothering her the most

Scorpia checked her phone for the fiftieth time in five minutes. Nothing. Half past ten and the date she was supposed to meet here half an hour before was nowhere to be seen.

_I guess that’s another one. Why do I even bother with these stupid dating apps?_

The glass of wine she had ordered forty-five minutes ago was still sat in front of her, almost empty. After a little thought, she decided to have a second to drown her sorrows and motioned to call the bartender over.

“Exc-“

“Hey, Lonnie? The usual?” a brown-haired girl shouted to her friend as she shot in front of Scorpia, “Yeah? Four vodka lemonades!”

She seemed to be really happy, so at least _her _date was going well. Though looking at her, it was hardly surprising – the gorgeous hair, that amazing figure, the pretty face – no wonder she had enough confidence to just push in front of people at the bar. The girl had probably never been rejected in her life.

_If I looked like that, I wouldn’t get stood up all the time._

Scorpia sighed and waited for the girl to get her drinks and then ordered her own. She sat against the bar, looking out across the room, particularly at the table that brown-haired girl was sat at. She didn’t think much of the girl’s companions – Scorpia was pretty sure she’d seen the skinny guy dealing drugs near her house, and the big guy and the other girl, presumably the one she’d called Lonnie, looked just as dodgy.

_Oh, sweetie, you could do so much better than whichever one of them you’re with._

Nursing a glass of wine and checking her phone was not how she planned her night to go. Although at least being here in the bar was marginally better than being alone at home. If only she could have a nice group of friends like that attractive girl who pushed in front of her – she seemed rather content sat there with the others. That Lonnie girl was clearly edging closer to her, trying to be all over her.

_I wish someone wanted me that much._

She tried not to be obvious, but her eyes kept darting over to the girl chatting and laughing with her friends. When the two men got up, she shuffled around on her stool, not daring to make any sort of eye contact or even make her presence known to them as they purchased drinks for the girls. The hot brunette seemed to be a little vacant, though given her company, it wasn’t a stretch to say that she’d probably taken something. Even so, the way Lonnie was all over her was beginning to make Scorpia feel uncomfortable.

A minute or two later, without having even finished her drink, Scorpia saw Lonnie haul the girl to her feet. She seemed really unsteady to the point where Scorpia wasn’t even sure she knew what was happening – her body just flopped, and she made no effort to even try to support her own weight. Her eyes were barely open, and she had no reaction to the people she passed by.

“It’s fine, she’s just had a bit too much to drink,” Lonnie laughed, as she cleared a path through the crowd to carry the brunette outside. Maybe it wasn’t any of her business, but Scorpia didn’t see the girl drinking much more than the others, and the smirk on the other girl’s face put a chill through her. Lonnie didn’t seem concerned about her companion at all. Her mind was torn as she considered following them. On the one hand, it was probably nothing and they were friends who had drunk a bit too much. But then again, if something _was _amiss, she couldn’t live with herself knowing she ignored it. She _had _to at least check. Downing the rest of her drink for confidence, Scorpia picked up her bag and rushed towards the door.

Outside, the bitter weather hit Scorpia hard, her eyes watering in the icy wind. She tried to ignore the chill and looked around for the two girls. There was no sign of them, a fact which worried her more. If they were just walking home together, she would have seen them further up the road. She surveyed the area for anywhere else they could have gone. Could they have got a cab? No, the queue was long and they’d never have got away so quickly.

“Ah!” Scorpia exclaimed when she saw the alley to the side of the building. She pushed her fear to the side and crept quietly along, keeping an eye on where she was putting her feet so as not to give herself away by stepping on the debris that littered the small path. As she silently moved forward, the two girls came into view. The brunette was propped up against a wall, and the other girl stood intimidatingly over her. Scorpia shuddered as she saw the dreadlocked girl force a kiss, and when she saw her pull the girl’s trousers down, the line had been crossed.

“Leave her alone!” Scorpia roared, running down the alley and clattering the attacker to the floor.

“What the hell?!” Lonnie fired a couple of frantic punches upward to defend herself. Scorpia dodged them, but they gave the shorter girl a chance to get back to her feet. She stood staring down the woman who had denied her what was hers, “You just made a huge mistake, bitch.”

She dived at Scorpia, knocking her off balance and sending her crashing into a wall, the rough edge scraping along her arm. Scorpia felt a stinging pain, but refused to let it stop her, scrambling to regain her footing and aiming a punch at Lonnie’s face. It connected hard with her nose, and she reeled backward, knocking Catra down to the floor as she hit the wall of the building.

“Agh, you…” Lonnie wiped a finger over her face, her eyes widening when she looked at it and saw the blood, “I am going to-“

Scorpia saw her opportunity and rushed forward, pinning Lonnie against the wall with a forearm, her bigger frame making it hard for the younger woman to push her away. She tried her best to be intimidating, “You are going to leave. Right now.”

“Yeah?” the girl sniffed, trying to clear the blood from her nose, “Or what? What are you gonna do to me? You think you can take me?”

“Probably not,” Scorpia’s eyes narrowed and she moved her face closer to the girl, “But what do you think will happen if I start yelling about what you were going to do to that girl? People are going to rush down here, blocking you in, then someone will call the cops. They’ll test her for whatever the hell you’ve given her, and there’s a bar full of eyewitnesses who’ve seen you together tonight. So tell me, _Lonnie, _what’s the prison sentence for attempted rape these days?”

Lonnie wanted to fight, but she knew that this woman was right. If she _did _attract attention, there would be little chance of escape. At least she’d be able to get away scot-free if she left now.

“Fine,” she huffed. Scorpia released her and she looked down, “You got lucky, Catra. Don’t forget you’re still mine and I _will _have you back.”

Lonnie stormed away, spitting on Catra as she walked past her. Once she was well out of sight, that was when the panic set in for Scorpia. She collapsed back against the wall, closed her eyes and breathed deeply, “Oh my God, that was so stupid of me. I picked a fight with some gang member. Oh boy, Scorpia, oh boy. What did you just do? Why did you do that?”

She had almost forgotten the girl collapsed on the floor next to her, and when she opened her eyes again, the sight renewed her terror.

“Oh gosh, what do I do? She’s… Is she OK? Hello? Er, oh…Home, we need to get you home. I’m so sorry for this,” Scorpia apologised as she rummaged through Catra’s pockets, looking for anything with an address on. Fortunately, she found some ID that showed where the girl lived, “Oh thank God, that’s just around the corner. Okay, Scorpia, you can do this.”

She spared the girl some embarrassment by looking away as she pulled Catra’s leggings back up, then put her arm underneath the girl’s shoulders to pull her upright. The two of them made slow progress towards the address Catra lived at, Scorpia searching her coat again for keys when they arrived. After climbing up the stairs of the apartment block, holding Catra with one hand, Scorpia put the key in the door and turned it. It didn’t move immediately, but with a slight kick, the door opened. She felt around on the wall for a light switch, pressing it down when she located it.

“Right, where do you sleep?” she whispered, letting the door shut behind her. The hallway had three doors along it, and one of them had to be the girl’s bedroom, “Shall we try door number one?”

As they approached the room, Scorpia saw the door opening. Horror shot through her – she assumed Catra lived alone, and now someone would find her standing in the hallway as though she were a burglar.

“Catra?” a bleary-eyed blonde girl emerged from the room, then screamed when she saw the unfamiliar stranger in her home, “Who the…? What have you done to Catra?! I’m calling the police!”

“Whoa, hold on there,” Scorpia smiled nervously, “You know her?”

“She’s my girlfriend… what did you do to her?” Adora glared at the strange woman.

“Oh, boy. I didn’t do anything, but… OK. Get her into bed and I’ll tell you everything.”


	3. In the Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Catra learns about her evening, the revelations create tension in her and Adora's relationship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for the positive comments on the first two chapters. This time round, we have angst, angst and some more angst...

Catra’s head pounded. She must have had way too much to drink because it felt like the worst hangover she had ever had. She didn’t remember getting home last night – in fact, she didn’t remember much about the evening at all. All Catra knew was that she was in her own bed, her girlfriend lying next to her.

“Adora?” she whispered, turning over and putting her arm on her shoulder, gently shaking her girlfriend to wake her up.

The blonde groaned, “Mmmh, Catra?”

“Do you have any painkillers in the drawer? My head hurts like hell.”

As Adora’s consciousness returned, so did her memory of Scorpia bringing Catra home, followed by the two of them talking for an hour and the horrifying things the woman had told her. She recalled that she let Scorpia stay over so she could talk to Catra in the morning. Eager to get everything out in the open, she shot upright and turned to the girl, hugging her, “Oh, I’m so glad you’re okay.”

Catra winced, “Ow, quieter, please. My head is killing me. Can you get me something for it?”

“Oh, sorry,” she whispered, getting out of bed, “I’ll be back in a minute.”

Catra turned over and shut her eyes, waiting for Adora to return. She fell in and out of sleep, so wasn’t sure how long it took her girlfriend to get the painkillers, she only knew when she heard her name again that she’d returned.

“Hey,” Adora spoke softly, “I got you some. And, um, I have something else too…”

“What?”

A well-built woman with short white-blonde hair appeared in the doorway, “Hi Catra.”

She blinked slowly, “I’m sorry, what? Who the fuck are you?”

“This is Scorpia,” Adora explained, handing her girlfriend a glass of water and two small, white tablets, “She brought you home last night.”

“And she’s still here, why?” the brunette swallowed the painkillers, “Wait, we didn’t…?”

Scorpia shook her head, making Catra feel somewhat relieved. Adora pressed on with the conversation, “Do you remember anything about what happened? Do you remember Lonnie being there?”

“Lonnie?” Catra sighed as her head thumped, “Y-yeah, I think we had a drink together. But it’s all blank after that.”

“Oh God,” her girlfriend threw her head back, taking a breath to prepare herself, “Catra, Lonnie spiked your drink last night. That’s why you feel so awful this morning.”

“Spiked my drink? I don’t think so. Why the hell would she do that?”

Adora smiled sympathetically at the girl, still debating with herself about the effect on Catra of knowing what happened. Scorpia picked up on her apprehensiveness and stepped further into the room, “I saved you from her. She was going to…”

She too trailed off, partly through searching for the right words and partly not wanting to deliver the bad news. Catra looked at the two women in front of her, confused and now worried about why they were so hesitant to talk, “What? Am I supposed to guess?”

Adora took a deep breath, “She tried to rape you, Catra.”

The word instantly changed the mood in the room, the girl in the bed shuddering at the sound of it. The silence was intense and awkward, no-one knowing how to deal with the uncomfortable atmosphere that a simple four-letter word had created.

“No. No, she wouldn’t,” Catra shook her head, her body language starting to show fear, “Nope. I mean, I know she’s still in the Horde and she’s a bit rough around the edges, but we were together for over a year. I know Lonnie, she’s not a bad person; I can’t believe you’re accusing her of doing something like that, Adora. She _wouldn’t._”

Scorpia looked at Adora, acknowledging that the response was not what they had expected, “Catra, when I found you, she had got you pinned against a wall and was pulling your clothes off.”

“Don’t be stupid, I don’t remember that at all. Besides, Adora, you’re just going to take the word of some random woman? I’ve never seen her before in my life! And anyway, even if I was off my face, I would know if that had happened to me. I know what it feels like.”

Adora sat on the bed next to her and tried to put her hand comfortingly on Catra’s face, but the girl swatted it away, “Look, I wish it hadn’t happened too. But our priority now is to make sure you’re OK.”

“I’m fine, it’s just a bad hangover. Guess I’m getting old.”

“You were drugged. Look,” she opened her hand to reveal a small scrap of paper, “I found the number for the local rape helpline, I-“

“Stop saying that word!” Catra shouted, immediately regretting it as the noise resonated and her head began to hurt even more, “Just… leave me alone, I need to rest.”

“Okay,” Adora nodded and put the paper on the table next to Catra, “You do that, and we’ll be here when you want to talk.”

“I don’t want to talk because there’s nothing to talk about. Just go!” she screwed up the note and threw it back at the girl. Adora sighed and followed Scorpia out of the room, pulling the door shut behind her. They walked silently into the living room and sat down next to each other on the sofa.

“Ugh, what a mess. Part of me hopes that when the fog lifts, she’ll remember something,” Adora propped her chin up with her hand, “But then another part hopes she doesn’t remember at all because that’ll be easier for her to handle.”

“I get that,” Scorpia searched for the words to be supportive but nothing seemed to be apt for the situation, “I think all you can do is be there for her.”

“It just hurts to see her like that. She’s just going to deny and block it out. Maybe I should get the police round and they might be able to do something. They could do some tests or something, I don’t know…”

“I think involving the police has to be Catra’s decision.”

Adora growled, “But she’s a victim of crime. You _have_ to get the police, Scorpia! How can she ever be okay again when Lonnie is walking around free like that?”

“I don’t know,” Scorpia shifted round and sympathetically laid her hand on Adora’s wrist, “But you need to allow Catra to do this her way.”

The two of them sat talking, taking it in turns to bring each other coffee, for the next couple of hours. The conversation gradually became a little lighter, and they found themselves greatly enjoying each other’s company. As the morning wore on, Catra returned into the living room, still in the t-shirt and shorts she had slept in. She was, however, a little more alert than before.

“Hey, Catra, how do you feel?” Adora asked, wearing a concerned smile. She was trying to judge her girlfriend’s mood from the response.

“Yeah, hangover is lifting. Still a bit foggy, but I’m fine otherwise. What’s she still doing here?”

“Scorpia is here because she’s worried about you. Also we got carried away talking…”

“Yeah,” interjected Scorpia, grinning, “We have not stopped yakking!”

Catra sat on the arm of the sofa, “Well there’s no need to be worried about me. I’m fine, so you can fuck off home now.”

“Catra!” Adora scolded, “Be good! Sco-“

“What the hell did you say?!” Catra shot upright, looking at her girlfriend with a deep fear in her eyes. Adora, too, became worried at the unusual behaviour, having never seen the younger woman look so frightened.

“I said ‘be good’. Catra, is something wrong?”

Adora cast a concerned glance at Scorpia as her girlfriend leaned against the wall, trying to catch her breath and staring down at the floor. She wasn’t sure if she should get up and help or leave her, so she compromised by slowly standing and edging over to the girl.

“Don’t touch me!” Catra yelled as she saw the blonde in her periphery.

Adora stopped moving and spoke as calmly as she could, “I’m not coming any closer, okay? It’s just me, it’s just Adora. You’re safe with me, Catra, okay? Now please tell me what’s going on, I’m worried about you.”

“I don’t… I don’t know,” she was now crouched on the floor, arms wrapped around herself, “I just felt scared suddenly, I…”

“Is it something from last night?”

Catra looked up at her, “No, why would it be? I told you, Lonnie didn’t do anything! She wouldn’t- ughh, forget it.”

The girl got back to her feet and ran out of the room, leaving Adora and Scorpia staring at an empty doorway. Both of them were extremely concerned for Catra’s wellbeing, worrying that a part of her subconscious _did _remember what happened and it was only a matter of time before it hit her.

“I think I should let you two talk,” Scorpia stood up, realising that she might have been complicating the situation by being there, “But you’ve got my number, so please let me know she’s OK.”

Adora followed her down the hallway, “Of course. And thanks for everything. It’s been nice getting to know you, I only wish it was under better circumstances.”

“Yeah,” she clicked her tongue, “But hey, at least we both made a new friend. If you need anything, just call.”

“Thanks, Scorpia,” Adora motioned to hug the woman, who reciprocated with a warm, friendly embrace, “Wow, you give great hugs…”

“Aw, you’re too kind,” she blushed, “But yes, I have been told that before. Look after her, okay?”

Adora nodded, then shut the door behind Scorpia and prepared herself to talk to Catra. It felt like an insurmountable task – how do you get someone to accept something they don’t remember? She pushed the bedroom door open, seeing Catra laid face down on the bed, and sat next to her. Her hand hovered over her girlfriend’s shoulder as she debated whether or not to touch her, before deciding against it.

“What do you want, Adora?” her voice was muffled by the pillow she had her face buried in.

“Scorpia’s gone, I thought we could talk alone.”

Catra twisted around, propping herself up against the wall behind the bed, “You don’t have to play along now. Scorpia’s not here, there’s no need to indulge her fantasies.”

“They’re not fantasies,” Adora caught herself becoming angry, and paused to breathe, “I saw the state of you when she brought you home, you were pretty much unconscious.”

“I was drunk, Adora!”

“It looked like more than alcohol.”

Catra raised her eyebrows, spluttering with disbelief, “Wow, you’re accusing me of taking drugs? Seriously?! You _know _I don’t do that shit any more. Have some faith in me, for fuck’s sake.”

“You know that’s not what I meant!” the blonde’s tone became agitated as she struggled to get her point across, the volume of their conversation continuing upwards until they were almost shouting at each other.

“Oh really?! Well what did you mean? Because it sounds a hell of a lot like you don’t trust me.”

“Of course I trust you! I was trying to say that Lonnie gave them to you without your knowledge, but sure, you jump to whatever conclusion you want!”

Catra threw her arms up in the air, “_I’m _jumping to conclusions?! You just accused me of being on drugs because I woke up hungover!”

“NO I DIDN’T!” her girlfriend yelled, "I said Lonnie spiked your drink with them… God…”

“Why don’t you just admit you’re jealous, Adora?! You think that Lonnie wants me back, and…” she paused, a strained look on her face, “She wouldn’t do that!”

Adora leant towards her, the realisation that she had been more barbed than she wanted to be creating a renewed calmness in her words, “I’m serious, Catra. Isn’t the way you feel this morning a bit more like… y’know, something else?”

“Sure, whatever,” the reply was laced thick with sarcasm, “Poor druggie Catra. She’s too much of a mess to remember anything so she must have taken something. Because Catra is just junkie scum.”

“Oh come on, Catra,” she gritted her teeth, trying to swallow the frustration, “It hurts me to see you like this. It’s not fair that this happened to you.”

“Nothing happened to me!” Catra snapped back, “Stop saying that! I. Just. Had. Too. Much. To. Drink. That’s all!”

“You were drugged!” Adora’s voice raised to match her girlfriend, “You would have been raped if Scorpia hadn’t found you!”

“Adora, stop…”

“Stop what?” the blonde tossed her hands up in frustration, “Stop trying to support my girlfriend after someone tried to rape her?!”

“Stop saying that word, Adora! It reminds me of… you know, when I _was_.”

Adora put her hand over her face. She’d forgotten the girl had been through something like that before, and internally berated herself for the effect that her words had, “Shit, I’m sorry, Catra. I didn’t think.”

“Yeah, well…” she looked away, “I won't be able to stop all the memories that will be running through my head all day now, so thanks for that. _Please _can you just stop going on about this? Lonnie didn’t do anything, she wouldn’t, so just leave me alone.”

Adora was overwhelmed with shame for triggering painful memories and felt it best if she didn’t keep on. She nodded, shutting the door behind her as she left Catra alone. The moment Adora was out in the hallway, she fell against the wall opposite, pressing her hand hard into her face to try and prevent the tears from falling. She forced herself to stay quiet, not wanting to risk Catra hearing her crying, and the conversation it would entail – a conversation that might well end up in another row. She felt completely alone and powerless – Catra was pushing her away every time she tried to help the girl. Was it really okay to leave her denying what had happened? Didn’t she have a responsibility to help? The worries whirled around her head as she sank to the floor – all she wanted was her happy Catra back. Her girlfriend may have been in the next room, but to Adora, she had never been further away.


	4. How It Used to Be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra's life in the Horde is a non-stop rollercoaster of vices - drink, drugs and debauchery! But something isn't right...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's time for your irregularly scheduled angst, and today we get a little peek into Catra's old life...
> 
> This is an appropriate chapter to re-state and add content warnings, just in case. As before, potential for minor spoilers if you read them.
> 
> Rape/sexual assault - there's a scene in which a character is forcibly touched without consent, making them fearful
> 
> Drugs - a character takes drugs
> 
> Self-Harm (kind of?) - a character punches a wall and watches themselves bleed (but not much)

“Wassup, party people!” Catra pushed through the door to Lonnie’s run-down apartment, greeting her girlfriend and Kyle, who were sat on a grotty brown sofa in the centre of the room. She dropped a carrier bag next to the coffee table, the clanging of metal cans giving away the contents, “I bring beer.”

“Nice one babe!” Lonnie smiled at her as she stubbed out a cigarette in an ashtray, then cleared a space on the table and put the cans on it, “Hey, Kyle got us some good shit. Come try some.”

Catra ruffled the young man’s thick hair, speaking as though he were a dog, “Kyle’s such a good boy, yes he is! Keeping his girls supplied with all the drugs they could ever want. Good boy, Kyle.”

“Fuck off, Catra,” Kyle grinned, leaning to one side and brushing her hand away. Both girls laughed.

“Shift,” the brunette pushed him to one side so she could sit in between him and Lonnie. She leant forward, inspecting the small piles of white powder on the glass surface of the table in front of her, “Damn, kitty is gonna get shitfaced tonight!”

“Hell yeah! And a coked-up kitty is a horny kitty!” Lonnie cheered the girl on as she lit another cigarette and put it up to her mouth, “You know, we’ve got Kyle all to ourselves tonight…”

Kyle blushed at what she was implying, “You two are a bad influence on me! But I’m not going to complain too much if I’ve got one sexy girl on each arm.”

“Oh Kyle,” Catra giggled, “We are not going to be anywhere near your arms. Legs, maybe…”

Lonnie’s hand wandered under the waistband of his shorts, “Or something else…”

“You whore, Lonnie,” Catra grabbed her wrist and pulled it away, winking at the girl as she did. She then opened up a beer can and took a huge swig, “Coke, booze and sex. God, I love being in the Horde! Yeah!”

She picked up Lonnie’s bank card from the table, using it to corral the piles of powder into a short, thin line. Her girlfriend handed her a rolled-up bank note, which she put to her left nostril and swiftly snorted up the drugs.

“Hooooo!” she exclaimed, shaking her head vigorously as the feeling hit her, “Shit, Kyle, that’s amazing! Fuuuuck!”

“Just got a delivery of it. And it’d be rude not to sample it,” he smirked, “So of course I had to share it with my two favourite girls.”

“We appreciate it,” Catra leaned over and locked her lips around his, “In fact, I think me and Lonnie should show you just how much we appreciate it…”

“We should,” Lonnie agreed as she sniffed and rubbed her nose, “Damn, that was the best!”

The brunette turned towards her and kissed her lustfully, in much the same way she had just kissed their friend.

“You know, Kyle,” Catra drawled, “I’ve been wanting to-“

The boy had vanished, leaving an empty space on the sofa next to Catra. She’d not heard any movement or seen a shadow of him walking out – Kyle had disappeared into thin air. She turned to Lonnie, confused, “Where did he…?”

“Guess it’s just us now, Kitty-Cat,” Lonnie stroked her index finger down the side of Catra’s face, “We could do _anything_…”

Catra smirked, “Anything?”

“Anything…” Lonnie stood up and grabbed Catra’s hand. She pulled the girl upright and forcibly pushed her against a wall on the other side. The room suddenly went dark, and Catra could just about make out the girl’s silhouette from a streetlight that shined down. She also felt a chill, as though they were outside.

The sudden change in atmosphere confused her, “Uh, Lonnie, what…?”

“You’re mine, Catra,” Lonnie pulled Catra’s head towards her and roughly kissed the girl. Catra could feel her fingers digging into the back of her neck.

“Ow, that hurts…”

“You’re mine, Catra,” Lonnie repeated as she grabbed hold of her girlfriend’s arm, nails scratching deep into it as she directed it between her legs.

“Lonnie, stop!” Catra pleaded, overcome with fear. The girl was hurting her, and it was terrifying that she didn’t seem to be paying any attention to her protests.

“You’re MINE, Catra!” her cold fingers made Catra jump as they touched her hip.

“STOP!” she yelled, sitting bolt upright. Lonnie was gone. She surveyed her surrounding, struggling to control her breathing. The room was dark, but it was familiar – she was in her bedroom.

“Catra?” Adora pulled herself into a sitting position next to her, wiping her eyes and yawning, “You OK?”

The brunette remained frozen, unable to focus on anything other than her heavy breathing. Concentrating on the feeling of the air rushing in and out was the only way to stop her thoughts going back to the dream she had just had. She was terrified, even after she had come to and recognised it wasn’t really happening.

“Bad dream?” her girlfriend gently rubbed her shoulders to comfort her.

Catra nodded, “I was… I was back with Lonnie at her place and she… Oh God, I think you were right Adora, I think she _did _try and…”

“Oh babe,” Adora shuffled herself so she could put her arms around the girl and hold her tight enough to make her feel secure, “I hate that she did that to you. But I’m going to make sure you’re safe now, okay?”

“Okay,” she responded quietly, just happy that her girlfriend was there to protect her. The way Adora’s arms laid around her chest was comforting, and she fixed her attention on the sensation of her girlfriend’s soft skin against her own.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“I think so?” she wasn’t entirely sure if she could manage it. The fear coursing through her blood implored her to stay quiet, but she wanted to share what happened, even just to relieve the pressure that her thoughts were putting on her.

Adora kissed the top of her head, “Go ahead, I’m listening.”

“I dreamt… I dreamt that I was with Lonnie and Kyle, we were at Lonnie’s old apartment. We were hanging out like old times – sex and drugs, that sort of thing, sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“Then Kyle vanished and the room went dark. And Lonnie pushed me against a wall and she… she… Sorry, I can’t say it.”

“I know, babe. But you’re okay, I’m here,” she absent-mindedly stroked her girlfriend’s hair, “You’re safe now. Do you want to try and get back to sleep? I’m going to stay right here.”

Catra thought for a while. Her heart wasn’t beating so fast, and the sweat she had woken up in was beginning to fade, “I think… maybe… Please don’t let go of me, Adora.”

“I won’t. I promise.”

Feeling safe, Catra allowed herself to fall back into sleep, willing herself not to dream. She awoke in the morning, relieved that no further nightmares had taken over her slumber. Adora's arms were still wrapped around her girlfriend, just as she had promised. They spent the morning avoiding talking about the nightmare, and the situation that prompted it – Catra not knowing what to say, and Adora not wanting to bring up the memories – but it remained an elephant in the room. The atmosphere grew thicker with unspoken words, until the older girl resolved to not ignore it any longer and sat down next to Catra to tackle it.

“We need to talk about… y’know…”

The brunette nodded slightly, “I know. I just… I don’t know what to do.”

“We’ll face it together. I’m sure there are plenty of people who can help. And at least now you can remember it, we can report it to the police and they-“

“No!” Catra interrupted, “No police, no.”

Adora gently stroked her girlfriend’s arm, “Babe, she committed a crime, you have to.”

“Did she though?” she took a deep breath, “I thought Scorpia saved me before anything happened. It’s not worth doing all that for something that was not that bad.”

“Not that bad?!” Adora felt some anger growing, and stopped herself, “Even though Scorpia got to you before she…y’know… Lonnie still drugged you! That’s a crime, trust me on that. The police will tell you that too.”

Catra rested her head on her hand, “I’m not going to the police, I told you that! I don’t want to and… I don’t think I can do that to Lonnie, either.”

“You can’t…? Why would you just let her off like that?”

“She’s not a bad person. She just… made a mistake. I can’t ruin her life for a mistake, Adora.”

The blonde sighed, unable to understand her girlfriend’s point of view. She wondered if Catra still had feelings for the girl, but voicing her thoughts would only be antagonistic, so she stayed quiet.

“I can feel you judging me, Adora,” Catra got to her feet and started moving towards the hallway, “I’m going out. I need to get away from you for a bit.”

“Catra! I’m sorry, but-“

She was cut off by the sound of the door slamming. Tears began to form in Adora’s eyes – she wasn’t sure why – she felt angry and sad and worried and… so many emotions whirled around her head. She didn’t want to argue with Catra, but the situation seemed impossible to fix by letting the girl handle things her way. After yesterday’s row, she thought things were getting better, that they had patched things up and were on the same side again, but here they were again. Opposed. Apart.

With a roar of frustration, Adora punched the wall next to the door, leaving a small indentation in the plaster. She watched in tense silence as blood seeped out from tiny cuts on two of her knuckles; it provided a focus to stop her thoughts racing away and making her cry even harder. Anything to make the situation go away. All she wanted was for things to be like they were – herself and Catra living together, happy; the past behind them, not causing trouble.

“I can’t take this,” she whispered to herself as she sank to the floor, “I just can’t…”


	5. Friendly Advice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both Catra and Adora get some external input into the situation - can their friends help repair the cracks in their relationship?

Catra closed her eyes and knocked on the door in front of her. She needed to talk to someone who wouldn’t react like Adora and start telling her to do this or do that, and really hoped that someone was home. There was the sound of movement from inside, and a few moments later, Mermista opened the door.

“Look, I’m sorry about the noise earlier, I don’t know _how_ Seahawk set his breakfast on fire, but-“ she looked at the girl stood in front of her and her cheerfulness vanished, “What the hell? Are you crying? Shit, come in.”

The blue-haired girl stood aside, Catra feeling as though she was on autopilot as she entered the apartment and found a seat on the living room sofa. Mermista shut the door behind her and followed her in, her usual snarky attitude replaced by a compassionate demeanour that only revealed itself when people she cared about were in trouble. Since the night of the gas leak, she and Adora had been regular visitors to the apartment below, and Seahawk and Mermista had become good friends of theirs. Maybe this was a step beyond the level of friendship the two had, but Catra couldn’t think of anyone else to talk to.

“He’s out at work, so it’s just us here,” she sat on the sofa next to Catra, who was bent forward staring at the floor, “What’s up?”

Silence surrounded them as Catra searched for where to begin, “Someone tried to… someone drugged me the other night. Then she tried to assault me.”

“Fuck,” Mermista gasped, stunned by the revelation. When she had first seen Catra, she wondered if it was just an argument with Adora – this was certainly not what she expected.

“Sexually.”

“OK, I should have saved the ‘fuck’ for that. That’s awful.”

Catra nodded, “It was my ex-girlfriend Lonnie. I… I knew I shouldn’t have gone with her.”

“You weren’t to have known,” Mermista put a hand on her friend’s shoulder, “But just so you know, I _will _kill a bitch, you just say the word.”

Catra tried to keep herself from doing so, but the outlandish words made her laugh. The giggling spread and soon both girls were in fits of laughter, Mermista just glad she had been able to bring a little levity to such a horrific situation.

“I have no idea if you’re serious,” Catra said once she had calmed down a little.

“And you never will.”

“I just…” she trailed off, returning to a more downbeat tone as her mind wandered, “I don’t know what to do. Adora is trying to get me to go to the police and I don’t want to. I know that’s stupid, but-“

“No it’s not,” Mermista’s tone was firm and direct, “It is up to you and only you what you do.”

“Can you tell Adora that? Every time I say it, she shoots me down… like ‘oh, you’re not thinking straight’ or ‘you can’t let her get away with it’. Is it that bad that I don’t want to ruin someone’s life? Can’t I just forget about it?”

Her friend brought her into a hug, “It’s not bad at all. I totally get that you want to put it behind you, and, yeah, she’s your ex. I know you probably don’t _love _her anymore, but it’s entirely natural that you don’t want to see her banged up in prison or anything.”

Catra sighed, leaning against Mermista’s shoulder, “Adora doesn’t get it. She thinks I’m stupid.”

“I’m sure she doesn’t think that. Look, Adora has probably never experienced this kind of thing before. She’s working with how she thinks _she _would feel in your situation, but it’s all based on guesswork.”

“I suppose. It still feels like I’m letting her down though.”

The older girl stroked along Catra’s arm, a tender, sympathetic gesture that helped her to relax, “Adora loves you, I can see that. You don’t need to worry about letting her down because you couldn’t even if you tried. Stick to what you want but let her help you rather than fighting her.”

“I don’t think she wants to help…” she re-thought her words. “No, sorry, she _does _want to help, but she thinks that the only way is to do what she believes is right. Adora won’t even listen to my point of view.”

Mermista sat back, rubbing her face with her hand as she thought, “I know it’s nothing compared to you, but maybe she’s feeling horrible that she wasn’t there to protect you from Lonnie? She’s probably going into overdrive out of guilt.”

“Yeah, that sounds like Adora. I just don’t know how to handle it, she’s so stubborn when she does that.”

“I don’t know her well enough to give you an answer. Just remember that it’s coming from a place of love – she wants you to be okay again. Heck, I do too, and you can always talk to me. But right now, I’m not the person you need to be talking to. You need to go back upstairs, Catra; I know you can help put things right between you, you’re awesome like that. And this Lonnie person doesn’t mean shit, don’t let her get in between the two of you.”

Catra sniffled a little, “I had no idea you were so…”

“Nice? Caring? Yeah, but if you tell anyone I will punch you _so hard_. I have a reputation to uphold. Now why don’t you go back up and talk to her?”

“I will,” Catra nodded, “And thanks, Mermista. This helped.”

* * *

“I need to get away from you.”

Catra’s words echoed around Adora’s head, every single syllable feeling like a punch to the gut. This was how it ended, wasn’t it? The best relationship she had ever had, torn apart because Lonnie couldn’t help herself – it was staggering how that one evening had driven such a wedge between them. She didn’t imagine Lonnie had intended to split them up like this, but here she was, lying on the floor next to the front door, wondering if this was the end of the story. The love that had seemed so promising, so permanent, now ripped away from her because of one night.

If she was certain Catra would be back, she’d get up off the floor; she would clean up the cuts on her knuckles and dust herself down. She would tidy up the kitchen worktop and prepare two clean mugs, so that Catra could come back to a warming cup of coffee. She’d make the bed, maybe even change the sheets so that they could enjoy fresh bedding tonight. But if Catra was leaving, what would be the point? She may as well just stay here, with the short, grey carpet irritating her cheek and the slight draft coming through the gap under the door onto the top of her head. With any luck, Catra would come back to get her stuff and open the door so hard that it would-

_Riiiiiiiiing_

That was her phone! Please let it be Catra….

_Riiiiiiiiing_

The sound returned Adora’s motivation, and she got to her feet, dashing into the living room where she had left her mobile.

_Riiiiiiiiing_

She dived towards the sofa and picked it up, looking at the screen. It wasn’t Catra, but it was someone she was glad to speak to.

“Glimmer, I need to talk to you,” there was desperation in her voice as she answered, akin to someone being given a flask of water after walking in the desert for days.

_“Oh God, what have I done? Also, hi Adora, Bow’s here and you’re on speaker.”_

_“Hi Adora!” _Bow’s voice cheerfully came through from the background.

Adora hadn’t thought about talking to Bow about what was going on, but he was their friend too and would have found out from Glimmer anyway, “No you’ve not done anything. It’s Catra.”

_“OK, what has _she _done?”_

“No, she’s done nothing,” the blonde sucked in her lips as she prepared to tell them, “She got her drink spiked the other night and almost got raped.”

_“Whoa, what?” _Glimmer couldn’t believe what she was hearing, _“How did she let that happen?”_

_“Glimmer!” _Bow scolded her, _“Don’t blame the victim, jeez.”_

_“I’m just saying, Bow. I thought Catra was, like, a tough girl.”_

_“She had her drink spiked, Glimmer! If you can’t be nice, don’t say anything. That’s not-“_

Adora’s tone became impatient, “Look, can we not do this? I don’t know what to do, I’m worried that… that we’re going to break up… Everything I say just makes things worse and I don’t know how to fix it.”

_“OK, calm down, Adora, you’re not going to break up. I don’t think either of you know what do,” _Bow reasoned, _“She’s trying to make sense of what happened, and her head is probably a mess right now.”_

“You didn’t see her, Bow. She can’t stand to be around me, and all I wanted was for her to put it right.”

_“Put it right?”_

“I mean, report it or something,” Adora explained, “She said she doesn’t want to involve the police and… why wouldn’t you?”

_“Well, why doesn’t she want to?” _Bow asked, hoping that he could help Adora see a way forward.

“She said she doesn’t want to get Lonnie in trouble. Which is stupid – Lonnie should be in jail, why does Catra want her to be walking around free? She _has _to report it, right?”

_“It’s-“ _Bow started to explain, before being interrupted by Glimmer.

_“OK, real talk time, Adora,” _her tone was serious and determined, “_I think I see why Catra doesn’t want to be around you.”_

_“The hell, Glimmer? This isn’t helping her.”_

_“Shut up. Uh, sorry, Bow. Adora, what happened to Catra?”_

Adora stumbled over her words, unsure quite what Glimmer was getting at, “Lonnie drugged her and tried to sexually assault her. I told you.”

_“No, I mean, what was it like for her?”_

“Scary, I guess? Having someone force you to do stuff you don’t want to do must be pretty terrifying…” she finished talking, but Glimmer’s silence indicated there was more to be said, “Um, she must have felt horrible not being able to control what was happening to her, I suppose?”

_“Exactly,” _Glimmer sounded like a teacher praising a student for a correct answer, “_Look, I know Catra and I don’t always see eye to eye, but this time I tried to see her point of view. For once. She’s been through this horrible experience where control over her body got taken away from her, and she comes home and you’re trying to take her control over the situation away. You might not like what she’s doing but for fuck’s sake, Adora, you don’t get to decide what she does. So get over yourself, stop telling her what to do because you’re just as bad as Lonnie if you do.”_

Bow gasped loudly, “_Glimmer!”_

_“OK, too far, sorry. But you should be making Catra feel in control again, not telling her she’s an idiot for not doing what _you _want.”_

Adora was stunned into silence. Glimmer’s speech had hit her deep inside, giving her another perspective on the situation that she hadn’t even thought about. She’d been so concerned with what was effectively getting revenge on Lonnie, that she’d forgotten that her girlfriend was at her most vulnerable.

“You’re right, Glimmer,” she said blankly, still digesting what she had heard.

_“Well, yeah, it happens sometimes.”_

Adora sighed, “It’s just… what if it’s too late? She’s gone out and I don’t know if she’ll be back.”

_“It’s not too late, Adora,” _Bow returned to his role as the voice of reassurance, _“Of course she’ll be back.”_

_“Yeah!” _agreed Glimmer, _“Unless she…mmmmpfff.”_

Bow’s hand across her mouth muffled the words he knew would only be unhelpful, and made her think twice about continuing the sentence. He tentatively reduced the pressure, taking his hand away completely when he was sure she wouldn’t carry on talking.

_“She’ll be back. Definitely.”_

“You two are the best,” Adora smiled at them, before realising that they couldn’t see and tilting her head in confusion, “I don’t know what I would do without you. I’m gonna try and ring her now, so thanks again.”

_“It’s going to be fine, Adora,” _Glimmer turned off speaker and put the phone to her ear, _“Promise.”_

Adora hung up and began scrolling through her contacts to bring up Catra’s entry. Her finger hovered over the little phone icon for a few moments as she thought about what Bow and Glimmer had said to her. The moment she tapped the screen to make the call, she heard the sound of keys in the door. She cancelled the call and ran down the hallway.

“Catra!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Couldn't wait to bring Mermista back! She's not always completely sarcastic and 100% done with everything - sometimes she's a really good friend.


	6. Reconciliation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Having both received the advice of their friends, can Catra and Adora see eye-to-eye again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to part 32221 of "Alice is bad at endings"!
> 
> Also we're going to have something much, much more light hearted coming next.

She hadn’t expected Adora to be stood right in front of her when she went back into their apartment, so the surprised squeak that emerged from Catra’s mouth as she pushed the door open was startling for both of them.

“Adora…”

“Yeah. We need to talk, don’t we?”

Catra nodded in response. Adora spread her arm to the side to indicate that she should walk on, and followed her into the living room, where they each sat down on opposite sides of the room. The two looked at each other silently, both trying to think of the right words to break the deadlock.

“Catra, I-“

“It’s-“

They both spoke at the same time, something which only added to the discomfort of the situation.

“No. You go,” Adora felt it best to listen to her girlfriend, still wracked with the guilt of not having done so before.

Catra took a deep breath, “I went to talk to Mermista. She said some stuff that helped, and I need to say some things to you now. Okay…here goes. I know you’re trying to help but constantly talking about police and reporting things and all that is… it’s just too much for me. Like, I understand you want me to be alright. I just don’t think that getting Lonnie in trouble will do that. I’m sorry.”

She looked away, fearing that she was disappointing Adora. Her girlfriend, however responded wordlessly by walking the few steps to sit next to her. Catra felt the warmth of Adora’s body and it made her feel loved – a welcome sensation after the last 24 hours of conflict – and she felt a lot of the stress immediately lifting. She closed her eyes, partly to savour the touch she had missed, and partly to try and prevent herself from crying.

Adora put an arm around her, “You don’t need to apologise. I’ve been talking to someone as well – Glimmer - and she got me thinking.”

“That must have hurt,” the deadpan way that she delivered the line made Adora smile. It was like a small glint of the happy girl shining through again.

“Oh yeah, I’m going to need a lie down after this,” she played along, before becoming more serious, “I can’t pretend I agree with you not reporting what happened, but I think I understand why you don’t want to. And I want you to know that whatever you decide now or in the future, I’m going to support you. One hundred per cent.”

“Thanks, Adora.”

“This can’t be easy for you, I know. And I’m so sorry that I’ve made it harder by… I guess by being me. But I’m here now and I’ll always be here. Every nightmare, I’ll be right beside you holding you tightly so that you know you’re safe. Every time the bad memories surface, I’ll be with you to help you get through it. If you need to talk, I’ll talk. If you need to be distracted from your thoughts, I’ll do that too. You’re not alone in this, Catra.”

Tears formed in Catra’s eyes and she wrapped her arms around her girlfriend, “I don’t deserve you. Thank you.”

“I love you, Catra. I’d do anything for you,” Adora hugged her back, “But there is one thing I’d like you to do for me.”

Her girlfriend pulled her head back and looked at her, “Huh?”

Adora pulled her phone and a small, creased scrap of paper from her pocket and held them out in front of herself, “Call them.”

The younger woman nervously took hold of the phone, looking at the words and the number written on the paper, “Do… do you mind if I do this on my own?”

“Of course,” Adora smiled and stood up, “I’ll be here when you’re done.”

Catra held off making the call until Adora was out of the room, then tapped out the numbers and put the phone to her ear.

_“Hello, Etheria Rape Crisis. My name is Katie, do you feel comfortable giving me yours?”_

“My name… my name’s Catra. I wanted to talk about something that happened to me.”

* * *

**1 week later**

“Oh my Gods, it’s freezing out there,” Catra sighed with relief as she and Adora entered the warmth of the busy town centre coffee shop, “I can’t feel my hands.”

Her girlfriend took hold of both, looking as though she was pondering something, “Ah… I see the problem. You do still have hands, you just didn’t wear any gloves because you’re silly.”

“Maybe I just need a hot girlfriend who wears gloves to hold my hand all the time?”

“Hmmm, this is a groundbreaking theory,” Adora stroked her chin theatrically, “And where might one find such a woman?”

Catra leaned in and kissed her girlfriend on the nose, “Riiiight… here! Oh wow, your nose is cold, gah!”

“Silly kitty. Right, I’ll grab some coffees,” the blonde laughed, “and I think she’s waiting over there for us.”

She pointed towards the back of the coffee shop, where a young woman sat alone, reading a newspaper. Catra slowly walked over, waving awkwardly when their eyes met and the woman beamed a smile to her.

“Hey, Scorpia,” Catra’s body language was still apprehensive as she sat down, her shoulders up and hands nervously tapping on one another. She struggled to even make eye contact, remembering how she had treated her the previous week.

“Catra!” Scorpia, by contrast, was full of energy. If a person could radiate pure happiness, that was what she was doing, “How are you? I’m so glad to see you again!”

“I’m doing okay, I guess…”

“Well that’s good! Adora says you’re doing counselling?”

Catra nodded, “Going to my first one after we’re done here.”

“Nervous?”

“Yeah, if you hadn’t noticed, I’m not a fan of talking about myself,” she sighed and looked away, “Um, Scorpia, I need to apologise about-“

“Ah, don’t worry!” Scorpia swiped her hand between them, “I totally get it, there’s no hard feelings. It was a pretty crazy situation, right?”

“Right. I still want to though,” the younger of the two leaned across the table, “I was out of order, I said some horrible things to you. About you. I should have been thanking you for what you did, so I’m really sorry, Scorpia.”

“Oh gosh, you really didn’t need to,” her expression was warm and disarming, “But of course, I accept the apology that now I’m thinking about it I kinda realise was important to you and I feel a little bad about trying to dismiss it.”

Catra bit her lip nervously, “There…there’s also one more thing? Adora said you… well, that you’re kind of, like, uh… good at hugs?”

“Well, I have been told that,” Scorpia almost jumped to her feet with excitement, stepping around the table and extending her arms out, “Come here, you.”

She brought the smaller girl in towards her and squeezed. Although Catra wasn’t normally the sort of person to hug anyone – except Adora, of course - the events of the past week and the apprehension she had about her counselling appointment meant she needed the extra boost. Though Catra tried to just allow herself to relax and be hugged, her brain went into overdrive. She really wasn’t sure how long to keep going – it was wonderful but at what point was she making it awkward? Was it rude to just stop? How long do friends hug for? Wait, were they friends? How do hugs work?

“Aw, look at you two!” Adora set the tray down on the table, giving Catra a perfect opportunity to break away from Scorpia without feeling weird, “Told you. Great hugs, right?”

Catra mumbled an agreement, a slight feeling of embarrassment making her switch her entire attention to her coffee, which she quietly stared into. Her girlfriend gave her a quick kiss on the top of her head, “You feeling okay?”

“Just a little scared about this appointment.”

“Hey, it’ll be fine,” Scorpia jumped in to reassure her, “I’m sure it’ll be really helpful. They’ll have loads of experience with people in the same position as you.”

Adora agreed, “Yeah, and they’ll have all the right training to help you talk about it whilst keeping you feeling safe.”

Catra thought for a while. Opening up to a stranger about something so personal was not the type of thing she did. All her life she’d been expected to keep quiet about herself, but Adora was starting to change that. Besides, if she kept it all inside, it would build up and eventually explode – and she had no desire to make Adora take the brunt of her anger again. As her girlfriend had told her many times over the past week, facing up to everything that happened was brave of her. Being able to talk about it with others was brave. Even just making it through the day sometimes was brave.

‘So guess what, Lonnie?’ she said inside her head, ‘You wanted me to ‘be good’? Nope. I’m not going to be good, I’m going to be brave.’


End file.
